I really need help.. i think im going crazy.. idk what to do next.?

15. i come from a really religious family. im saved i think but ive been a backslider since the age of 10 it seems like my whole life theres been someone judging me or preaching at me. my parents do all the time. which i think led me to fall away from god. i feel like a piece of worthless crap. idk how to explain it but no matter what i do people always think im a bad person. ive always had low self esteem and thought i was for sure going to hell for a while. i know i sound like a little kid who just doesnt understand things yet but i really do. i was once very mature for my age and even a lot of adults would compliment me on my wisdom.. but now here i am. i feel so alone and empty. i lost myself completely. nobody understands me. i feel like i cant talk to anyone because im a bad person and theyll judge me or they just wont understand. theres a lot of problems i have im just not going to write them on here. theres so many things i need to tell someone. i feel like im about to explode. but theyre so hard to explain.. i wish i could be someone else. id take anyone else but me.